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| Reflection: Week 14 |
As I was sitting in the car excitedly waiting to see my parents finally, I realized how quickly time flew by. I know that I mention this quite often; however, one of my biggest fears is having life play by in front of me with being a participant. It is as if I was a viewer sitting in a movie theater and watching life through my eyes but not actually interacting with it. Maybe that is why I love to do spontaneous things. It reminds me that I am in control and that I am living in the now. During my time here, I have attended multiple concerts, looked at the stars late at night, spontaneously decided to get a nose piercing, and randomly ventured into downtown because I needed a change of scenery. Sometimes I feel as if I am not doing enough. Every night I sit and reflect on what occurred that day, and I always ask myself: Am I doing enough? Is there more that I could have done? I try not to stress about it too much but it is a constant fear of mine. I do not know how to get over it, but ever since I have gotten to college, I have tried to live my best life.
As I was driving around town, I could not stop to realize how different it looks. I asked myself, is this the same town that provided me the opportunities to arrive at American? It sure does not seem to be the same. Everything looks the same, but it does not feel the same. I wonder as to why that is. Could it be that there are no leaves on the trees? Or that I recognized at least 5 people every time I go into downtown? Or that it is so small and isolated compared to DC? I just think, “Do these people know what is out there?” Just to be clear, I hope that I do not sound snotty or in pity of my village, but it is more of the fact that I grew up here, and all I knew was here. However, I am a DC-er now, and my horizons have expanded. I feel like a new person.
All of these thoughts occurred to me during my trip back to my real home—I say it in this manner because I now consider AU to be my home. Before coming, I did not know where life would take me. Still, I am sure that it will have something to do with DC, International Affairs, or anywhere in-between. I thoroughly enjoy what I am learning, and I cannot wait until I take specialized classes in topics that interest me. I now know that this is where I belong. I do not regret anything, and I will continue to thrive here at AU. ☼
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